3024 words — 15 minutes read

Annotated transcript of Bush's speech

I found this annotated speech of Bush over at Back to Iraq in the commentaries. A terrifiying read early in the morning…

The Iraqi regime has used diplomacy as a ploy to gain time and advantage. [Why are they so much better at it than I am? I want time and advantage, too!] It has uniformly defied Security Council resolutions demanding full disarmament. Over the years, U.N. weapon inspectors [the ones that ?we? sent, right?] have been threatened by Iraqi officials, electronically bugged, and systematically deceived. Peaceful efforts to disarm the Iraqi regime have failed again and again ? because we are not dealing with peaceful men. [Why did my Poppy send them those biological and chemical agents in the first place?]

A transcript of George Bush?s war ultimatum speech [and thoughts] from the Cross Hall in the White House Monday, March 17, 2003 My fellow citizens, events in Iraq have now reached the final days of decision. [Events in the United States were decided months, if not years, ago.] For more than a decade, the United States and other nations have pursued patient and honorable efforts to disarm the Iraqi regime without war. [?because Poppy stopped short for some gol-durned reason.] That regime pledged to reveal and destroy all its weapons of mass destruction as a condition for ending the Persian Gulf War in 1991. [I can?t believe my own Poppy fell for that line of horse pucky.] Since then, the world has engaged in 12 years of diplomacy. [12 years is more than a decade, right?] We have passed more than a dozen resolutions in the United Nations Security Council. [?a dozen?more than a decade?] We have sent hundreds of weapons inspectors to oversee the disarmament of Iraq. [Yes, ?we? sent weapons inspectors?not the United Nations.] Our good faith has not been returned. The Iraqi regime has used diplomacy as a ploy to gain time and advantage. [Why are they so much better at it than I am? I want time and advantage, too!] It has uniformly defied Security Council resolutions demanding full disarmament. Over the years, U.N. weapon inspectors [the ones that ?we? sent, right?] have been threatened by Iraqi officials, electronically bugged, and systematically deceived. Peaceful efforts to disarm the Iraqi regime have failed again and again ? because we are not dealing with peaceful men. [Why did my Poppy send them those biological and chemical agents in the first place?] Intelligence gathered by this and other governments [Memo to self: find out what other governments have intelligence.] leaves no doubt that the Iraq regime continues to possess and conceal some of the most lethal weapons ever devised. This regime has already used weapons of mass destruction against Iraq?s neighbors and against Iraq?s people. [Don?t remind them Poppy was behind this, back when we all hated Ayatollah Khomeini?HEY! I remembered why Poppy sent them that stuff in the first place! YEE=HAW!] The regime has a history of reckless aggression in the Middle East. [Iraq has been recklessly aggressive too?why didn?t they put that in the speech?] It has a deep hatred of America and our friends. And it has aided, trained and harbored terrorists, including operatives of al Qaeda. [Gosh, they were talking about Iraq. Though there were terrorists here. And I guess I should forget about all those black ops CIA agents we?ve got. Classified information. Can?t tell the American people. They can?t handle that kind of information. Memo to Ashcroft: outlaw screenings of The Bourne Identity.] The danger is clear: using chemical, biological or, one day, nuclear weapons, obtained with the help of Iraq, the terrorists could fulfill their stated ambitions and kill thousands or hundreds of thousands of innocent people in our country, or any other. [I wave this magic wand over Iraq, and the audience will ignore North Korea?wave the magic wand?ignore North Korea?wave the magic wand?ignore North Korea!] The United States and other nations did nothing to deserve or invite this threat. [Maybe no one knows about what Poppy and his friends did in the ?80s?] But we will do everything to defeat it. [I?ll make it right, Poppy, I swear I will.] Instead of drifting along toward tragedy, we will set a course toward safety. [Poppy will like that sailing analogy?though it sounds kind of wimpy. Why couldn?t they have made a rodeo analogy instead?] Before the day of horror can come, before it is too late to act, this danger will be removed. [Day of horror?September 11th?wasn?t that bin Laden? Didn?t I say I?d remove him, too? Hmmm?I wonder if the American people know that bin Laden and Saddam Hussein are the same guy? That?s what Dickie and Donny told me?.] The United States of America has the sovereign authority to use force in assuring its own national security. That duty falls to me, as Commander-in-Chief, [as supreme commander of the universal united space ranger forces,] by the oath I have sworn, by the oath I will keep. [Though loyalty to Skull and Bones comes first?.] Recognizing the threat to our country, the United States Congress voted overwhelmingly last year to support the use of force against Iraq. [What was that resolution number? Does anyone care?] America tried to work with [bully] the United Nations to address this threat [the use of American force] because we wanted to resolve the issue peacefully. [Fistfights at the U.N., especially with Powell there, would NOT have worked!] We believe in the mission of the United Nations. One reason the UN was founded after the second world war was to confront aggressive dictators, actively and early, before they can attack the innocent and destroy the peace. [Will anyone recognize that the UN is confronting ME??? That I am the aggressive dictator??? ?Cause I sure as heck am gonna attack some innocent Iraqis and destroy THEIR peace!!! Heh heh!] In the case of Iraq, the Security Council did act, in the early 1990s. Under Resolutions 678 and 687 - both still in effect - the United States and our allies are authorized to use force in ridding Iraq of weapons of mass destruction. This is not a question of authority, it is a question of will. [You will NOT question MY authority. I WILL attack Iraq, no question about it. Heh heh!] Last September, I went to the U.N. General Assembly and urged the nations of the world to unite and bring an end to this danger. [That was supposed to stop the public opinion slide?but it didn?t! What happened???] On November 8, the Security Council unanimously passed Resolution 1441, finding Iraq in material breach of its obligations, and vowing serious consequences if Iraq did not fully and immediately disarm. Today, no nation can possibly claim that Iraq has disarmed. And it will not disarm so long as Saddam Hussein holds power. For the last four-and-a-half months, the United States and our allies have worked within the Security Council to enforce that Council?s long-standing demands. [Within? That should say ?without the Security Council, I sent hundreds of thousands of troops to Iraq?s backdoor! Don?t need no Security Council to do that!] Yet, some permanent members of the Security Council have publicly announced they will veto any resolution that compels the disarmament of Iraq. [Oh good?phew?they took out the words, ?the disarmament of Iraq by military force.? Makes those other guys look bad.] These governments share our assessment of the danger, but not our resolve to meet it. Many nations, however, do have the resolve and fortitude to act against this threat to peace, and a broad coalition is now gathering to enforce the just demands of the world. [Hey, we got Limeys AND Spics. And some of them are broads!] The United Nations Security Council has not lived up to its responsibilities, so we will rise to ours. [Memo to self: start new world club next week.] In recent days, some governments in the Middle East have been doing their part. They have delivered public and private messages urging the dictator to leave Iraq, so that disarmament can proceed peacefully. [Thank God those Godless Turks want to kill those Kurds as much as I want to kill some Iraqis.] He has thus far refused. All the decades of deceit and cruelty have now reached an end. [Thanks, Roger Morris and the New York Times, for teaching me about Saddam?s beginnings?that it was John Kennedy?s fault, 40 years ago, and not all Poppy?s, 20 years ago. No one around here would tell me the true story.] Saddam Hussein and his sons must leave Iraq within 48 hours. Their refusal to do so will result in military conflict, commenced at a time of our choosing. For their own safety, all foreign nationals - including journalists and inspectors - should leave Iraq immediately. [Because we didn?t send all those troops to play tiddly winks! It?s WMD time, American style!!!] Many Iraqis can hear me tonight in a translated radio broadcast, and I have a message for them. [Cover your heathen asses or die! Heh heh!] If we must begin a military campaign, it will be directed against the lawless men who rule your country and not against you. [So if you get in my way, it?s your fault, not mine. I warned you.] As our coalition takes away their power, we will deliver the food and medicine you need. [?Cause after we bomb the bejeezus out of you, yer gonna be sick and hungry!] We will tear down the apparatus of terror [Wait! I thought I had two more years??!!!] and we will help you to build a new Iraq that is prosperous and free. In a free Iraq, there will be no more wars of aggression against your neighbors, no more poison factories, no more executions of dissidents, no more torture chambers and rape rooms. [We?ll move all that over to Ashcroft?s place!! Heh heh!] The tyrant will soon be gone. The day of your liberation is near. [Death is liberating, right?? Your souls will be liberated from your bodies!] It is too late for Saddam Hussein to remain in power. [I made up my mind about that a long time ago, as soon as Poppy decided that I should be president, too.] It is not too late for the Iraqi military to act with honor and protect your country by permitting the peaceful entry of coalition forces to eliminate weapons of mass destruction. [Desertion and disloyalty to the commander-in-chief is honorable, as long as it?s not me, heh heh!] Our forces will give Iraqi military units clear instructions on actions they can take to avoid being attacked and destroyed. I urge every member of the Iraqi military and intelligence services, if war comes, do not fight for a dying regime that is not worth your own life. [Fight for me! I WILL rule the world! Heh heh!] And all Iraqi military and civilian personnel should listen carefully to this warning. In any conflict, your fate will depend on your action. [Hey, wait, I thought I just told ?em NOT to act?.] Do not destroy oil wells, a source of wealth that belongs to the Iraqi people. Do not obey any command to use weapons of mass destruction against anyone, including the Iraqi people. War crimes will be prosecuted. War criminals will be punished. And it will be no defense to say, ?I was just following orders.? [This does not apply to American troops who may use weapons of mass destruction or commit the murder of innocent civilians, right?] Should Saddam Hussein choose confrontation, the American people can know that every measure has been taken to avoid war, [like sending all those troops to the Middle East?we did that to avoid a war in Iraq] and every measure will be taken to win it. Americans understand the costs of conflict because we have paid them in the past. War has no certainty, except the certainty of sacrifice. [So forget about coming out of this recession. And they say I don?t address economic issues at home. Stick that in yoursewer pipe and clog it.] Yet, the only way to reduce the harm and duration of war is to apply the full force and might of our military, and we are prepared to do so. [It will be so much easier rebuilding Iraq if we turn it into a sheet of glass first.] If Saddam Hussein attempts to cling to power, he will remain a deadly foe until the end. In desperation, he and terrorists groups might try to conduct terrorist operations against the American people and our friends. [Because even though we are waging war, he will always be a terrorist. He is not allowed to wage war. Isn?t there a UN resolution against him waging war? What?s its number?] These attacks are not inevitable. They are, however, possible. And this very fact underscores the reason we cannot live under the threat of blackmail. The terrorist threat to America and the world will be diminished the moment that Saddam Hussein is disarmed. [Our threats and blackmail WILL succeed. Saddam WON?T live! Heh heh!] Our government is on heightened watch against these dangers. Just as we are preparing to ensure victory in Iraq, we are taking further actions to protect our homeland. [We know what you?re watching on TV now, too. And what you bought at the grocery store. And what kind of gas you put in your car. So WATCH OUT! Don?t raise your voice against me, enemy combatant ex-citizens!] In recent days, American authorities have expelled from the country certain individuals with ties to Iraqi intelligence services. [We also sent 120 agents to Idaho to harrass a college student?that makes me feel better!] Among other measures, I have directed additional security of our airports, and increased Coast Guard patrols of major seaports. The Department of Homeland Security is working closely with the nation?s governors to increase armed security at critical facilities across America. [However, 98% of all cargo containers entering this country will NOT be inspected?God help the longshoremen, the Commie union bastards?.] Should enemies strike our country, they would be attempting to shift our attention with panic and weaken our morale with fear. [Just as I am seeking to shift your attention from my failure to bring Osama bin Laden to justice.] In this, they would fail. No act of theirs can alter the course or shake the resolve of this country. [At least 50-someodd percent of them think we should use force?screw the other 40-odd percent!] We are a peaceful people - yet we?re not a fragile people, and we will not be intimidated by thugs and killers. If our enemies dare to strike us, they and all who have aided them, will face fearful consequences. [Did they steal that line from one of Saddam?s speeches?] We are now acting because the risks of inaction would be far greater. [I can?t say what those risks are, because that would mean you would know I?m afraid of being voted out of office in 2004, or impeached, whichever comes first.] In one year, or five years, the power of Iraq to inflict harm on all free nations would be multiplied many times over. [Again?magic wand, Iraq?forget North Korea?wand, Iraq?forget Korea?.] With these capabilities, Saddam Hussein and his terrorist allies could choose the moment of deadly conflict when they are strongest. [God help us in July when those gooks have more than several nukes?gooks?nukes?I made a rhyme! Heh heh!] We choose to meet that threat now, where it arises, before it can appear suddenly in our skies and cities. [Like those North Korean ICBMs?gol-durn them North Koreans! I?ll really be in trouble in July?.] The cause of peace requires all free nations to recognize new and undeniable realities. [I WILL be responsible for the second coming of Christ!] In the 20th century, some chose to appease murderous dictators, whose threats were allowed to grow into genocide and global war. In this century, when evil men plot chemical, biological and nuclear terror, a policy of appeasement could bring destruction of a kind never before seen on this earth. [So don?t even THINK of trying to appease ME! Heh heh!] Terrorists and terror states do not reveal these threats with fair notice, in formal declarations - and responding to such enemies only after they have struck first is not self-defense, it is suicide. [Do ya suppose the American people have forgotten about all that anthrax we had running through our mail? What was the CIA thinking?] The security of the world requires disarming Saddam Hussein now. [At least, that?s what my astrologer says?.] As we enforce the just demands of the world, we will also honor the deepest commitments of our country. [Note to Ashcroft: make it legal to commit peace activists against their will.] Unlike Saddam Hussein, we believe the Iraqi people are deserving and capable of human liberty. And when the dictator has departed, they can set an example to all the Middle East of a vital and peaceful and self-governing nation. [Dead folk look so peaceful?.] The United States, with other countries, will work to advance liberty and peace in that region. [Guam and Puerto Rico are countries, right?] Our goal will not be achieved overnight, but it can come over time. The power and appeal of human liberty is felt in every life and every land. And the greatest power of freedom is to overcome hatred and violence, and turn the creative gifts of men and women to the pursuits of peace. [The pursuits of peace through violence and destruction and death and bombs and KABLOOEY!!! YEE=HAWWW!!!] That is the future we choose. Free nations have a duty to defend our people by uniting against the violent. [Because violence united can defeat the violent! Even without England! And especially without the UN!] And tonight, as we have done before, America and our allies accept that responsibility. Good night, and may God continue to bless America. [All hail the new King George! Long live the King! It?s good to be King?.]

Posted by Andrew at March 17, 2003 11:31 PM

Jens-Christian Fischer

Maker. Musician